CHAPTER 8: POST WAR YEARS

My mother's family fortunes changed after the death of her father. Now the relative who had previously worked for them took over the business. My mother and her family were relegated to the back room and the relative and his family then occupied the bigger room toward the front. The aunt who previously had to do the housework was now the 'official towkay's wife'. Thus she lorded over them. Mum and her sister now had to do the cooking and washing and baby-sitting. This aunt whom we addressed as "Lau Kim" or grand aunt, was a harsh taskmaster. If she was not satisfied with the girls' work, she would use her knuckles to rap their heads.  My mother was more compliant and tried her best to please her aunt, but second aunt was more rebellious and resented this treatment. She received harsher treatment from this "Lau Kim". 

Maternal grandmother (from I/C)

After the war, to reduce additional mouths to feed, "Lau Kim" arranged for mother to be married to the Lims, my father. There was no bride price, but the arrangement came with a caveat - One free and get the second one free too !! That is, marry the daughter and take in the mother to live in the house too. Well, I suppose grandmother thought it was a pretty good deal - another extra hand to help in the farm. However my maternal grandmother was not used to manual labour and was not very good in the field and paternal grandmother always grumbled that it was a bad deal !!. This issue was a contentious point in the family and each time paternal grandma was in a bad mood or was angry about something, she would take it out on mother. Poor mother - her idyllic years only lasted about 10 years and after that she had to endure lots and lots of berating and unkindness - first from her aunt and later from my paternal grandmother. Dad, in respect for his mother did not stand up for mum whenever she was scolded needlessly. With no one to turn to for moral support, she just endured those mistreatments in silence My early memories of mother was a woman who toiled unceasingly in the kitchen. After washing a mountain of clothes and hanging them out to dry, she would chop wood to begin preparing lunch. after lunch collecting clothes, folding and sometimes ironing and after that dinner. After dinner, she would sew or mend clothes. She hardly had time to talk to us - except to scold us for any perceived misdeamours on our part. Everyday she would take asprin, called "Aspro" to alleviate her constant headaches. I guess with the piles of housework, and caring for the children and coping with a nagging mother-in-law, it was enough to give anyone a splitting headache!!