A WOMAN OF SUBSTANCE

We just finished reading a book "Footprints in the Paddy fields" by Tina Kisil. I was able to identify with certain aspects of the writer's experiences - especially the Dusun family's preference for boys over the girls. To dad, it was as if his childhood had been re-enacted. Dad brought the book to Perth. "If you want to know more of my childhood, read this. ' he told Serene. I suppose for the children, it's just another story as they cannot relate to those events - being brought up in another era.
I was particularly drawn to Kisil's description of her mother . "My mother was born several decades too early. Had she been born later and gone to school, with her sharp mind and even sharper tongue, she could have made a formidable lawyer...."

And I draw this comparison to my second sister. To me, she was another personality born years ahead of her time. As a middle child, she exhibited such strong personality and leadership traits that got her into no end of troubles. She was an advocate and a fighter for justice and woman's rights - even as a teenager.

Just like Tina Kisil's parents - boys were the favored species in our family. As children, we were expected to do our share of household chores as well as to work in the rubber holding. Just like the boys, we had to chop the firewood and draw water from the well. However, when it came to mealtimes, the menfolks would take precedence. The men ate first and after wards, the womenfolks would eat whatever that was left over. I guess the men weren't unkind, just thoughtless. Most of the time, they would polish up the best parts of the meat, leaving the fatty bits and bones for us to pick. My sisters and I endured this quietly.

One day, Alicia got so fed up with the measly bits and muttered to us ; "It's so unfair - we work equally hard but we get to eat the bones only..." Then she suggested "Tomorrow, at lunch, we will sit with the men and eat with them." I was apprehensive :"You dare? Granny will have a fit. We might get a beating if we do this." I wanted to avoid beatings at any cost. She was defiant : " I don't care - it's time we make a stand. Kena beating also must show them what we think." So she persuaded us girls to join her.

So the next day, lunch time - after setting the table, we called the menfolks to eat. And lo and behold..... we girls sat down together with the men. "Let's eat, " and Alicia boldly picked a big piece of meat and shoved into her mouth. My heart was pounding, waiting for the fireworks to start.

Sure enough, there was a scream of horror from Granny. It was as if we had commited some kind of sacrilege. "How dare you girls sit with the men? Have you no shame? Get off!! Let the men eat first." I turned to Alicia. She looked cool and continued eating. "We're hungry too." She announced. Granny continued to rant and rave - calling upon heaven and earth to witness this unheard of act. She scolded my mother for her failure to bring us up properly. It was awful . My knees were knocking and I felt like leaving the table. But Alicia bade us to stay firm.

Throughout the screamings and scoldings, not a word from the menfolk. My brothers looked at us timidly too. Granny continued to rant :" Just look at them - so bold ah? Want to climb over the men's head now yeah?" ( and some more unprintable statements). Grandfather just ignored Granny. That gave us courage and we continued eating. Wow!! No one ever dared challenge Granny before.

The next day, Grandfather invited us to eat with them - although Granny continued to scold for a few days more. (Shameless ! Shameless!! ) That was the beginning of our liberation. And I have to thank my sister for taking that bold move. There were many more stories of how she stood up to my parents and Granny and I think that made her the woman she is today.