Today's reading :
"Is it possible to be too helpful? Can our helpfulness actually make life more difficult for other? Yes, if we are being irritating, intrusive, smothering, manipulative, or controlling. If the help we are giving is driven by our own anxiety, we may just be trying to help ourselves. How can we help from pure motives? In prayer we can ask God to show us any way we are hurting or hindering others. "Search me , O Lord and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thought. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." (Ps 139 : 23-24)
Our efforts to help others, especially those we love the most, will never be completely free from anxiety. Yet we can, by God's grace, begin to love freely with no strings attached as God Himself loves. Asking God to help us show love that " suffers long and is kind..... is not puffed up, does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil..." (1 Cor. 13 :4 - 5)"
The week that passed had been an immensely traumatic one for our family. Nathan tripped and fell - cutting his lower lip badly. My mother in law passed away due to brain hemorrhage. We had to cut short our holidays. On the way back, my anxious thought was on Nathan. Would his lip heal well, with minimal scarring? Would he miss us? Would he be able to adjust to his new sleep routine? (Oh Nathan, I pray you will grow up to be a fine young man, of godly and towering character). I think of my daughter. How is she coping with the trauma and the stress? Would she feel bitter over what had happened? Oh God, grant her the inner strength and resilience to handle all these. I think of my sister in law. How is she handling the loss of her mother? They were so close. Would she be safe staying alone in the big house?
Today's reading jolted me. Had I by loving too much actually caused more stress to my loved ones? I know I am trying to protect the ones I love but in so doing, I've intertwined these feelings from my past. I remember my mum - how she suffered in the hands of her mother-in-law, my grandmother. She was constantly criticised and scolded for every small thing. But mum was long-suffering and dared not defend herself. As I stood in the corner observing all these, I thought to myself : "I will not let this happen to me or my daughter." I saw mum having to almost beg for money to buy household provisions from dad. I remember hating every 1st and 10th of each month because that would be "school fees day" and mum would mention tentatively to dad - "The children need money for their school fees." Sometimes, the money was not given, I dreaded going to school to face teacher. On those days, I would often pretend to go to the toilet when the class teacher came in. Year later, on our mother-daughter moments, mum confessed that there were times when she wished she could wear the latest fashions like her peers. She envied their freedom to buy some nice things for themselves. Thus financial independence is very important to me.
Lord, help me to love with pure motives and for the good of others.
"Is it possible to be too helpful? Can our helpfulness actually make life more difficult for other? Yes, if we are being irritating, intrusive, smothering, manipulative, or controlling. If the help we are giving is driven by our own anxiety, we may just be trying to help ourselves. How can we help from pure motives? In prayer we can ask God to show us any way we are hurting or hindering others. "Search me , O Lord and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thought. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." (Ps 139 : 23-24)
Our efforts to help others, especially those we love the most, will never be completely free from anxiety. Yet we can, by God's grace, begin to love freely with no strings attached as God Himself loves. Asking God to help us show love that " suffers long and is kind..... is not puffed up, does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil..." (1 Cor. 13 :4 - 5)"
The week that passed had been an immensely traumatic one for our family. Nathan tripped and fell - cutting his lower lip badly. My mother in law passed away due to brain hemorrhage. We had to cut short our holidays. On the way back, my anxious thought was on Nathan. Would his lip heal well, with minimal scarring? Would he miss us? Would he be able to adjust to his new sleep routine? (Oh Nathan, I pray you will grow up to be a fine young man, of godly and towering character). I think of my daughter. How is she coping with the trauma and the stress? Would she feel bitter over what had happened? Oh God, grant her the inner strength and resilience to handle all these. I think of my sister in law. How is she handling the loss of her mother? They were so close. Would she be safe staying alone in the big house?
Today's reading jolted me. Had I by loving too much actually caused more stress to my loved ones? I know I am trying to protect the ones I love but in so doing, I've intertwined these feelings from my past. I remember my mum - how she suffered in the hands of her mother-in-law, my grandmother. She was constantly criticised and scolded for every small thing. But mum was long-suffering and dared not defend herself. As I stood in the corner observing all these, I thought to myself : "I will not let this happen to me or my daughter." I saw mum having to almost beg for money to buy household provisions from dad. I remember hating every 1st and 10th of each month because that would be "school fees day" and mum would mention tentatively to dad - "The children need money for their school fees." Sometimes, the money was not given, I dreaded going to school to face teacher. On those days, I would often pretend to go to the toilet when the class teacher came in. Year later, on our mother-daughter moments, mum confessed that there were times when she wished she could wear the latest fashions like her peers. She envied their freedom to buy some nice things for themselves. Thus financial independence is very important to me.
Lord, help me to love with pure motives and for the good of others.
2 comments:
amen.
I think it is very difficult to separate the intertwining of feelings especially between women/mothers/daughters/sisters. Our emotions are an integral part to who we are and how we emphathise and relate so keenly to others. The important thing is to stay open, honest and true. Thank you for sharing, mum.
Post a Comment